Hi!
The following is my end-of-year advice in preparation for the coming year. Hey, we can always become better humans in our professional and personal lives!
It's funny because the first rule on my list is, "Don't give advice unless you are asked for it."
So, if you don't want my list of advice, stop reading here. LOL!
Here we go…
1. Don't give advice unless you are asked for it. This is my #1 pet peeve. Why?
❌ It can feel like criticism.
When someone offers advice without being asked, the recipient might perceive it as a judgment on their choices or abilities. It can feel like the advisor is saying, "You're doing it wrong."
❌ It undermines one's autonomy.
People value their independence and ability to make decisions. Unsolicited advice can seem like an attempt to take control or override their agency, which can feel patronizing.
❌ It assumes a lack of insight.
Unsolicited advice can imply that the recipient hasn't already considered the issue. This assumption can be frustrating, especially if the recipient has been actively working through the problem.
❌ It may not address their needs.
Advice can feel irrelevant or out of touch without understanding the full context of someone's situation. What works for one person might not work for another.
❌ It can create resistance.
Unsolicited advice can trigger defensiveness rather than inspire action. People may dig in their heels, rejecting even good suggestions simply because they feel pressured or misunderstood.
❌ You lose connection by trying to fix rather than listen.
Often, when people share a challenge, they aren't looking for solutions—they're looking for understanding, empathy, or validation. Jumping in with advice can derail any connection.
Moving on…
2. If someone has already decided, support them. This is my #2 pet peeve.
✅ People don't need a list of reasons they might have made the wrong choice. They need cheerleaders, not critics.
3. Say yes to doing things that scare you.
✅ Growth, confidence, and learning happen outside your comfort zone. Saying "yes" to the scary stuff can lead to an even more fulfilled life.
4. Don't let your past self make all your decisions.
✅ You're not the same person you were yesterday, so don't let the "past you" run the show. Trust who you are right now.
5. Practice the art of the graceful "no" and set boundaries without apology.
✅ Saying "no" is essential for protecting your peace and energy. Boundaries guide how others can respect your time, space, and priorities.
Setting boundaries gives people relief by reducing their worry that you don't mean what you say.
With more time and space, you have more energy to give to others.
6. Stop measuring your worth in productivity.
✅ You are more than what you accomplish—rest, joy, and connection matter as much as your to-do list.
7. Spend time with people filling you with peace and joy.
✅ Surround yourself with those who energize and inspire you. Life's too short for draining relationships.
8. Mistakes are just lessons.
✅ Embrace the mess-ups. They're opportunities to grow, learn, and eventually laugh about.
9. Celebrate the small wins (I am the least good here).
✅ The little victories—finishing an email, making someone smile, or simply getting out of bed—deserve as much celebration as the big ones.
Unlike unsolicited advice, when advice is asked for, it shifts from imposition to a welcome collaboration.
How to Offer Advice Thoughtfully
Ask for Permission: "Would you like some input on this?" Respect their answer if they decline.
Focus on Your Experience: Share what worked for you instead of prescribing what they should do. ("When I was in a similar situation, I found X helpful.”)
Stay Curious: Ask open-ended questions that help them reflect rather than direct them toward a solution.
And there you have it—my unsolicited (hopefully fun and thought-provoking) advice for 2025!
Life isn't about perfection; it's about connection, progress, and experiencing joy along the way. (I remind myself of this every day!).
May your 2025 be filled with good health, courage, and laughter, and may you give—and need— less unsolicited advice.
Cheers to becoming better humans. 🎉
With love and encouragement,
Jeanne 🌺
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